INTERVIEW SERIES: Joe

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT [edited for clarity]

Joe: “What defines me is what I do and how I act. I try my best to be independent because I see people having to be dependent on other people and I don’t want that to happen to me. I also try my best to endure both physically and mentally because I’ve seen people do that, like my grandma.”

How do you feel, knowing that as humans are social animals, you need people?

J: “I’ve come to terms with it. I don’t exactly like it, but I understand that it’s necessary, and I’ve found enough people that I trust and that I think are intelligent enough to rely upon.”

How do you make friends?

J: “I have a sense about people…when I meet someone, I’m going to instantaneously know, within a big range, how intelligent the person is, and it doesn’t take that long to find out where their heart is. It’s more of a time thing, for me. Like, I have to get comfortable with them; how they work, and how they are in their space, relative to me. [I ask myself,] first of all, are they intelligent? Second of all, do they understand that they need to use that intelligence for the benefit of others? I don’t know…generally the people that I’m closest to have gone through some form of hardship that is relatively the same caliber as the hardships I’ve gone through. That’s a bonding point.”

What makes you care about people even in their potentially dangerous duality?

J: “I mean, introspectively, I know I’m capable of things that aren’t…good. And also I understand logically that no one is inherently evil. For example, psychopaths: I understand that their condition is a result of a deficiency that is out of their control. [Calling a psychopath evil] is like telling someone with autism that it’s their fault when it obviously is something out of their control. When people [go ‘evil’,] I understand that things went wrong in their lives and they didn’t receive the help and [human support] they needed. In that way, the explanation for ’evil’ is simple, really.”

Something that I’ve found I identify with in you is your constant reassessment of your definition of “family”. Can you speak to that?

J: “Family means…anyone you’re willing to die for.”

Who are some people who have influenced you enough to lead you to that conclusion?

J: “Elder. I admire people who are kind and brave and intelligent at the same time, ‘cause it’s hard to be brave but also intelligent. I definitely think he was one of the first people who modeled the fact that it was okay to be willing to give yourself to a selfless cause. A lot of the other influences around you, especially as a young man, are about personal reward…you know, you play sports because it lets you gain popularity and status and girlfriends; but he made it totally about the other people around you, and taught you to understand that that’s what life should be about.